Choice is the most important of the 5 core life lessons and values referenced below that I desire for myself and Jian.
Choice: so he remembers that he is in control of his creation and freedom.
Confidence: so he knows his worth and believes in a force larger than himself.
Courage: so he has the will to be curious in adversity and to own his choices.
Coexist: so he exists in and welcomes diversity and perspectives.
Clarity: so he refines his intellect from moment to moment.
Like me, you’re probably working hard to give your children the best version of yourself. You have a strong desire to do so, but sometimes find yourself exhausted and confused; thinking you’re doing everything you can, but that your reality isn’t aligning with your intentions.
Intentions are funny things, you see. Many times, we’ll experience good intentions going wrong.
They usually go wrong because we’ve made the wrong choices.
I verify my intent by questioning my choices.
Does the environment I’ve created support the core values I’m trying to instill in him?
Does the way I think support the core values I want to impart to him?
Does the way I act and speak support my beliefs around these values?
When my choices align with my desires, I’m left with a feeling of tranquility, lightness, expansion, excitement, and liberation.
I’ve witnessed the same in Jian.
In my humble experience, I can honestly say that only when I began to live and honor Choice in our home, did I find true fulfillment and authenticity.
Prior to that, and without fail, every time my choices misaligned with my desires, I was ridden with guilt and shame because I said something or acted in a way that went against an expectation I had of him.
Limiting his screen time, and hiding my phone each time he walks into my room.
Asking him to eat dessert once a week, and then eating chocolate while he’s in school.
Preaching about the power of talking calmly, and then walking away if I had to yell or scream.
Promising to look for his favorite socks, and then telling him I was really busy at work.
(As if he didn’t know the truth.)
Each time, choosing words or actions that misalign with my desires and my core values.
What choices are you making that align with your core lessons and values, and that are setting you and your child(ren) up to learn the life you most desire?